Turkeys excited, prepare for their inevetable day of praise

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November 15, 2016

Kyle Guthrie

kguthri@uccs.edu

     It’s that time of year again.

     I’ve heard about it for years, but I never had the chance to experience the holiday that celebrates turkeys; the one the tall featherless beings call Thanksgiving.

     For turkeys like me, this is a pretty big deal.

     It starts weeks before the big event. Near the end of October, these giants begin our ceremony by showering us with food.

     They give us two, three, sometimes four times as much food as they normally do, all for the sake of showing their appreciation for the mightiest birds to roam Earth. We are contently filled for our impending day in the great sun.

     But it doesn’t stop there.

     After, we are moved out of the cold and into better quarters for preparation. Every turkey is full of food and water, and now we get holed up in warm and toasty room. How could life get any better?

     As the fabled Thanksgiving approaches, the tall ones give us shots designed to help fight off any diseases or infections; they don’t want anything to happen to us before our special day.

     Next is what we call, the great turkey bowl.

     Each of us magnificent creatures take turns finding out how much weight we have gained in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. We’re also measured to see how large we have become; the featherless ones crown who they believe wins title for the most beautiful turkey.

     But the best part of it all is the day they load us onto our carriage and take us to our places of worship and appreciation.

     I have often wondered where that place could be. What could it possibly be like? Is there any way it could be as amazing as I make it out in my head?

     Everything from napkins to yard decorations are adorned in our favorite colors and designs that give homage to us.

     They see turkeys in everything, including their hands, which they create with a cut-out drawing and red, yellow and orange leaves.

     I am sure if I am selected this year, I will rule a kingdom of giants who will willingly bathe me in gifts, and I will live out my eternity surrounded by my beloved followers.

     It is apparent to me that turkeys are the gods of Earth.

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