March 30, 2015
NOTE: This Article is intended as Satire
Cardinal Joseph, former quarterback for the Ohio State Buckeyes, has decided to take his talents to UCCS, for the inaugural season of Mountain Lion football.
With the recent success of UCCS athletics, Joseph felt the school was a good transition from Ohio State. He was the returning favorite for the Buckeyes, but felt Division II athletics was a better fit.
Joseph determined that transferring was the best option instead of entering the NFL Draft.
“My decision was very simple,” he said. “But I had to talk it over with my family, my friends and telling the coaching staff was the toughest part.”
“I’m going to return next year for my education, but I have chosen to take my talents to UCCS.”
UCCS basketball was the main athletic draw on campus, until the athletic department decided to implement a football team, welcoming the Ohio State transfer with open arms.
“I’m excited to see football finally at UCCS,” said athletic supporter John Alwhey. “It will bring the community of Colorado Springs closer to the university. The arm strength that Cardinal Joseph brings to UCCS will put us at the top of the conference.”
Currently, the RMAC has 10 programs that compete for collegiate football. CSU-Pueblo thought they were in the hunt for signing the Ohio State quarterback.
“We pursued Joseph with all the money and options we could throw at him,” said CSU-Pueblo booster Seion Danders. “UCCS will be a tough football team to beat.”
In order to accommodate the UCCS football team and staff, a $4 million stadium is being built in addition to five new coaching offices. Newly acquired head coach Gerald Nice, former football coach for Alabama, feels ready for the challenge.
“Having a football team here is something that I have waited for a long while now,” Nice said. “I always kept my eye on UCCS and if they were ever going to get a football team. Once I noticed a team was formed, I came knocking.”
The team will begin play in the 2015-16 school year. Tryouts are set for May 17.