OP: Breakups – The messy truth

17 September 2019

Abby Jadali

ajadali@uccs.edu

Being in a relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic, is never easy. You are finding mutual understanding, care, love and happiness within another person and that can often leave you vulnerable to whatever consequences might come about.

When you get into a romantic relationship with someone, you are essentially putting your heart on a silver platter and serving it to them with all the fixings. You are allowing them the opportunity to do whatever it is they want with this piece of yourself.

And I do not say this to frighten you, but I say it to prepare you for the possibility of what this vulnerability can do to you, especially when it comes to breakups.

Breakups, while a natural part of dating and relationships, are never something you actually get used to or enjoy. It is not enjoyable for the person receiving it and prior to what you may have thought, it is not easy to be the one who is doing it.

Being broken up with, regardless of it being a good or bad breakup, will most likely make your heart feel like it is shattered. It is like a death. I mean, it is literally called a “break” up for that reason. You are losing a person who you have spent so much time and effort on and who has, essentially, become a part of you.

The relationship may have lasted only a few weeks or maybe for a few years, but the initial feeling will be the same. And while you may wilt after a breakup, it is so important to eventually grow from it.

In most cases, people will go to loved ones for comfort after a breakup, or they will attempt to seek consolation by spending alone time with themselves. While these are good ways to begin the process of moving on, it might not always be enough.

I have found, in my very recent experience, that sometimes music and movies are just as helpful in bringing you out of a funk and pushing you into growth.

The Netflix Original, “Someone Great,” is one that I would recommend to most people going through a breakup. It shows the romantic relationships that these three friends are in and highlights the importance of understanding what you need to be happy and when it is time to let go. Each friend is dealing with their own problems, so I feel as though everyone can learn and connect with some aspects of it.

Watching something like this during and after a breakup can help put a few things into perspective because the movie deals with some is real life stuff. It is not like those other movies where there is always a happy ending; it is a movie that unveils the truth behind a lot of relationships, which ultimately helps you find happiness in yourself.

Loving another person is never easy. Caring about another person is never easy. Like mentioned before, making yourself vulnerable is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but when you finally get to the point when you can open up, run with it and take that leap because feeling comfortable enough to give something like that to another person is so rewarding.

If it didn’t work out, whether you are going through a breakup, were broken up with a while ago and still trying to find yourself or you’re struggling with allowing someone new in, know that you are not alone.

Breakups are hard, they are messy, but I promise you the pain eventually goes away and by going through it, you will grow and learn. You will heal.

So, watch movies, listen to music, talk to friends and be alone: you don’t need anyone to tell you your worth, and someday, you will find the person who will bring the best out of you.

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