I am becoming sickeningly obsessed with a tiny gray Yoda head. Some may know exactly what I’m referring to. For others, it may be a complete mystery. To the uninformed folks out there, I’m sorry; I’m about to shine a light on something that could turn your world upside down.
Everything started in the fall 2022 semester. I went to the bathroom while working in my office at Main Hall, and something caught my eye. A little gray figure, with large ears. Yoda, sitting atop a fire extinguisher box. I smiled and went back into my office. The next day my coworker Tessa noticed him there, and we shared a laugh.
Master Yoda greeted us on the way to the bathroom for several days before disappearing. Tessa and I mourned him, agreeing that a maintenance person had probably thrown him away, or somebody took him. I didn’t think about him for a while.
Later — I don’t know how much later, it’s so hard to keep track of time when something is always on your mind — he reappeared. Much to my delight, my gray friend was on the fire extinguisher box again, almost as happy to see me as I was to see him.
Since that day, our relationship changed. Yoda began to taunt me, moving, disappearing and resurfacing in other places. I’ve seen him in multiple spots around Main Hall and have heard of sightings by others in different places across campus. Sometimes he stays for days in the same spot, sometimes he is gone within hours of when I first spot him.
In addition to the fire extinguisher box, reports have placed the figure in Columbine on a first-floor drinking fountain, on top of name placards outside of offices in Main Hall as well as fire alarm pulls on the other side of the building.
I’ve noticed changes in myself ever since Yoda came into my life. It feels as if I’m not the same person I used to be. I was able to work diligently, without concern for where Yoda would pop up next. I could walk places with friends, listening to them tell me about their day. Now my focus is elsewhere, eyes always searching for where I will see that cursed plastic head next.
My descent into madness is made worse by the paranoia. I no longer trust those around me to tell me the truth about their involvement with the Yoda head. I question the credibility of everyone. Could my coworker Tessa be the one behind all of this? Are there multiple people involved?
More than anything, I desperately need to know what Yoda’s presence means. I’m positive that there is a reason behind where he appears and how long he stays.
All evidence points to the culprit spending a lot of time in Main Hall, likely somebody who works there since Yoda was on a fire alarm near an employee entrance. His one documented appearance in Columbine leads me to believe that this person is also a student and begs the question of whether or not there is a single Yoda head or several identical ones.
It has begun to feel like I’m being taunted by Yoda and his keeper. I think they know that I’m searching for them and want to know what’s behind their sick little game. Losing my mind, I am. I would like to encourage anybody who comes across new information regarding Yoda or those behind his movements to come forward and email me.
Watching you, I will be.
