On Inauguration anniversary, President Winfrey calls for equality, gives everyone a car

January 30, 2018

Ja Rule, New York Times political analyst

This week, the Scribe was granted exclusive access to the New York Times’ 2022 news archives and were given permission to publish an article from it four years in advance. To be published January 30, 2022, this article details to-be President Oprah Winfrey’s press conference exactly one year following her inauguration.

    At a press conference on Wednesday, President Oprah Winfrey gave a speech on everything she and her administration have accomplished since her inauguration last year.

    “This has been a historic year for America,” Winfrey said, “But we still have a long way to go. We have to reverse President Donald Trump’s disastrous policy decisions and start moving forward.”

    In order to keep moving forward, Winfrey said she was working with Senate Majority Leader, Kid Rock, and the rest of the Democratic Party in order to create long-term plans for the future.

    President Winfrey said that with more egalitarian policies in place, everything will eventually feel like 2008 again.

    Ellen Degeneres, White House communication director and host of “The Daily Show,” said that the U.S. Government will distribute one vehicle to every American household as part of the Car in Every Garage Act.

    “With every American citizen having a car, the inequality faced by Americans is sure to go away,” Degeneres said on her Monday program. “A good portion of income inequality faced by Americans comes from not having a reliable mode of transportation.”

    Aaron DeAngelis, 20, a resident of New York City and one of the first recipients of a car from the federal program, said, “It’s great, and I appreciate the effort, but back in 2019, the owners of the building I live in made it so that my rent didn’t cover parking near the building, and I had to pay an extra fee to get a parking spot.”

    DeAngelis continued, “So I actually have nowhere to park the car because the other buildings in my neighborhood have similar rules, too.”

    DeAngelis is one of many recipients that have problems with the program.

    For more examples, see the listicle on nytimes.com for more interviews and for a complete tl;dr of this article if you’re a New York Times SuperSubscriber™.