The Super Bowl has become a cornerstone of American culture. Watch parties across the country have become so common that there has been a push to make the Monday post-game a national holiday to counteract, the many ‘festivities’ people partake in at these parties.
While the regular season mainly attracts fans of the sport, Super Bowl parties see people attending who may not know an ounce of football. So, who are these people and what can we expect at these parties?
The actual fans
These are fans of either one of the teams playing in the game or just fans of the sport who are watching to enjoy the last moments of joy before Sundays become empty and boring for the next seven months.
Nothing more to say, these are the people you would expect to be watching football.
The gambler
This person is most likely to be on their phone to monitor the dozens of bets they placed on the game.
They watch the game like hawks, and they didn’t just place a bet on the outcome of the game. They have money riding on the coin flip, the color of the winning team’s Gatorade, the length of the national anthem and anything else you can think of that is not football.
If you can spot this person early in the party, give them some space as for the next three hours because they are about to show more emotion than anyone actually playing in the game.
The concert-goer
This person could not care less about the game. The first half serves as the opener and the second half is the encore to the 15-minute concert occurring at halftime.
They are usually super fans of whatever artist is doing the halftime show and they are not going to miss an opportunity to attend a concert, even if they are watching from a TV in a room that smells like pizza and beer — it’s almost like they are there in-person.
The work they have put in imagining dream track lists, sets and outfits for this show rivals the work the actual managers and artists did putting the show together.
The commercial enjoyer
A variation of the concert-goer, this person is there to see the high budget commercials, and you will see them ecstatically pointing at the screen when they see a celebrity or reference they recognize.
A favorite game of theirs is guessing the company the commercial is for before it is shown on screen.
The ragebaiter
They say ignorance is bliss but in the case of this person, their bliss comes at the cost of raising the blood pressure of the fans in the room.
They don’t know the rules of football and are just happy to be there, but it does not stop them from trying to ask questions.
Some of their best hits include asking “why did he throw the ball to the other team? I thought the goal was to try and throw it to his team? Is that allowed?” after a gut-wrenching interception or “why doesn’t he just go around?” after no gain on a run play.
Don’t get me wrong, this person has good intentions, but they just have a talent for accidentally getting under the skin of fans.
The performative guest
This person also has no idea what is happening on the TV but unlike the ragebaiter who is at least trying to understand, this person does not care to understand or enjoy the game.
They will constantly point out how stupid the concept of a bunch of grown men in pads running around a field chasing a ball is and will not miss a chance to call the game “sportsball.”
To the naked eye this, person seems like they do not want to be at the party at all. If you muster up the patience to talk to them, they’ll say that they were forced to be there and that they would rather be at home reading feminist literature and writing poetry.
That is a lie. Being in a room full of people they can look down on for enjoying a “low-brow” hobby is exactly where they want to be at the moment. Please don’t give this person attention, it only makes them more intolerable.
Survey that field
Look out for all these types of people and that should give you an idea of where you are going to want to hang around during a Super Bowl party.
Whether you are on the couch fervently watching your favorite team — I know I am — or just hoping both teams have fun while you have a feast at the snack table, you’ll know what to expect during the big game.
A Super Bowl party. Photo by Keener Management.