With a budget crisis looming, many are unsure about the future of the great Colorado University, Colorado Springs, whose unused acronym strikes fear into the sane. Everyone looks up to — or down to, height depending — the chancellor in this great time of need. But what is the chancellor really thinking about?
From the Scribe’s office in the janitor’s closet of the University Center, we have theorized the top ten things on the chancellor’s mind.
10. Kohl’s Cash
9. When is lunch?
8. Reusable straws
7. Stop smiling
6. Defund the Scribe (efficiencies)
5. Lo-fi music
4. Fear of the eighth Amendment
3. Political science majors
2. Ice cold root beer
The No. 1 thing on the chancellor’s mind right now is a backup career in underwater welding.
Honorable Mention: the $27 million budget deficit.
What’s on the chancellor’s mind? Graphic by Josiah Dolan.