A Coloradan’s guide to spring in the Springs 

     Spring is almost upon us here in the Olympic city. You can feel it in the air and see it in the sky, as the days lengthen, the birds sing and everything else is still … brown. We have a little while yet before the plants get their act together.  

     As we have plenty of students on campus that come from distant lands and shores, I decided to provide a list of things that newcomers should know about Colorado’s changing seasons. I am a born and raised citizen of the Springs, so I have seen my fair share of what passes for spring here.  

     Before you read this list, bear in mind that I’m not a huge fan of heat. We all carry biases, and I wanted to make you aware of mine. Now, please proceed.  

  1. The first rule is that no sane rules apply. The weather does whatever it wants, and we just have to deal with it.  
  1. Take a coat everywhere you go. Some days will be 60 degrees, and some will be below 10. A light jacket should suffice, except on the days when you’ll need a parka. Plan accordingly.  
  1. It will snow in May. It’s going to happen. Not only will it snow, but it will also fill all the newly blossoming trees with heavy frozen water until their branches fall off. Get ready for news broadcasts about damage caused by falling branches. 
  1. We will have exactly a week of rain in April, and no more. During that week, the sidewalks will have worms all over them, and after it you’ll never see a worm again — unless you garden, like I pretend to do.   
  1. The air will be pleasantly cool till about the middle of June, at which point we turn into a desolate hellscape of dry heat and sunshine, and you need to turn on your sprinklers if you want your lawn to resemble something close to green.  
  1. I might be exaggerating that last point just a little bit, but that’s how it feels. It even seems like we skipped the cool period this year, so if you like heat, Merry Christmas. If you are like me and don’t like your skin melting off, buckle up.  
  1. Spring in Colorado does bring a new batch of plants, so expect to see more flowers scattered throughout the city. They make for a lovely atmosphere, and will be perfectly content until approximately July, at which point they will shrivel from dehydration unless you have a lot of money to spend on your water bill.  
  1. Speaking of flowers, during the rain week, the crabapple trees will blossom. They look incredible and smell awful.  
  1. No matter what the weather is, everyone will be wearing Birkenstocks. I define myself as a cold weather person and generally look for clothes that fall on the warmer side, including my preferred black boots. However, I will also be wearing Birkenstocks. You can’t escape.  
  1. I don’t know how spring impacts winter sports. Somebody told me something about artificial snow once, but I might have misheard them. You’ll probably still be able to ski somewhere or another but look it up instead of taking my word for it, because: Newsflash! Not all Coloradans ski. Thank you and good night.