Advice from Chickie: Dating apps

Hi Chickie,  

I matched with a girl from my econ class on Bumble, and we have not talked yet. The class is big, and I don’t know how to approach her. What should I do?  



Hi Jeremy,  

     Thank you so much for sending in your question, I am here to help. Matching with someone online can always be a tricky thing. Meeting people currently is not only difficult but exhausting. Knowing how and when to talk to this person is like navigating through a maze full of obstacles never seen before.  

     Learning how to jump through the hoops and dodge the oncoming gut punches seems like a looming task, however, with the right tips you can easily find your way through the maze.  

     To start off, you need to ask yourself what you are wanting from this match. Are you looking for something serious or something more laid back? Knowing this will help you with determining how to approach her. No matter what you want, you need to be aware of boundaries.          

     When you walk into class make sure you ask her if you can sit next to her, do not just assume that she will want you next to her. Pay attention to body language, if she crosses her arms or looks down when she is talking to you, she may be uncomfortable. If she has her headphones in, you may want to consider that she wants to be left alone. 

     Starting off with the small steps of asking to sit next to her or walk with her as you leave is a good way to make sure you are not overstepping boundaries. Once you get the chance to talk to her, that is when you can mention that you matched on the dating app. You don’t want to come off too strong, but just a slight mention should spark a conversation.  

     Taking it slow and not jumping the gun on asking her out is a good progression of conversation as well. Ask her to work on homework, or study in the library together. Choose a place that she will feel comfortable and safe in. Do not ask her over to study at your house.  

     Before you leave the class, ask if she would like to sit together again next class. This will give her the chance to decide instead of you showing up next time and expecting her to be okay with you sitting next to her. 

     The key to approaching anyone is to do it with respect and the other person’s boundaries in mind.  

     Good luck! I hope everything goes well!  

Your friend,