Sept. 27, 2010

Jessica Lynch

For generations, we have held true to our American values. We have looked alcoholism in its ruddy face, and we have scoffed. We have turned to our beers before our friends, and we have shed more than a few tears and gained more than a few pounds over an empty case of Bud Light.

Drinking games erupted from a society attracted to competitively induced inebriation. Flip cup, king’s cup, quarters and beer pong inundated the party scene. This forced individuals to part with their morals, throw back a couple shots and let freedom ring…them onto the floor like a lifeless blow-up doll.

Last May, “The most badass thing to hit the streets since electronic monopoly,” came face to face with the revered masculinity of every pretentious college male in America. Originating in the South, “bros icing bros” scoured the lands, drink in hand, preying on the homophobic; it uses wit, creativity and dick-like behavioral traits to embarrass co-workers, friends and students abound.

“Icing” or “getting iced” has very simple rules, and like most drinking games is sure to amuse, emasculate and facilitate a drunken rage when properly played. For those unfamiliar with the game, if a person sees a Smirnoff Ice, he or she must get down on one knee and chug it. This is to be done with little or no hesitation, but slowly enough to allow the “icer” to snap a few pictures. One UCCS student explained, “[Being Iced] sucked, it was super warm and tasted like aged piss.” Defense mechanisms include getting a new group of friends or always having a Smirnoff on hand. In which case, an “ice block,” occurs and the original icer must serve the intended punishment.

Icing is an art and while many college students would rather throw a Ping-Pong ball into a red cup or put a finger down in “never have I ever,” there are those with enough tact and effort to ice their fellow neighbor with audacious indignity.

Try strapping a bottle to the back of a dog, burying one in Creatine powder, hiding one in a hanging plant, a backpack, behind beer in the fridge or under the covers. Shoot for early morning hours, outside a downtown coffee shop, during a mid-day break or before a large group of people. Liven up a sausage-fest with a few demeaning Smirnoffs strategically placed around the house. Effort is key; creativity is crucial, and if you don’t have over a 3.0 you probably won’t find this game very fun anyway.