The Scribe was fortunate enough to land an interview with UCCS’s famous mascot, Clyde the Mountain Lion. We asked Clyde questions submitted by you, his fans. Interview transcription follows.
Clyde, thank you so much for agreeing to an interview. I have to admit, I’m a little starstruck.
No problem, Cannon. I always love interacting with fans.
That’s excellent to hear, because our interview questions today are coming from fans on social media. Are you ready to get started?
Alright, let’s start with this one. @Clydefan1965 asks, “What’s the best thing about being a college mascot?”
Great question. I’d have to say my favorite part is being able to represent such a wonderful university. It fills my heart with joy to see my name and face associated with initiatives like Clyde’s Cupboard and the UCCS food pantry. I’m honored that I can help make a difference.
I love it. Our next question comes from @MountainLionLover, who asks, “Which of the UCCS sports teams is your favorite?”
That’s like asking me to choose a favorite child! I can’t answer that.
What’s your favorite sport then?
Probably hockey. The only thing I love more than getting out on the ice and hitting the puck is coming out to support UCCS’s sports teams.
Hockey does seem like a lot of fun. OK, our next question comes from @SwiftysEats. “Where is your favorite place to eat on campus?”
Well, I hate to say anything negative about the university, but frankly, there aren’t any mountain lion-friendly places to eat on campus.
Oh, really? What kind of food options would be mountain lion-friendly?
Deer, raccoon, coyote — y’know, stuff like that.
I’m not asking for anything too fancy. UCCS could even set aside funding for collecting roadkill for mountain lion-friendly meals. There’s a ton of that stuff littered on the road. Reduce, reuse, recycle, am I right?
Was that a gag?
Sorry, sorry, that was unprofessional of me.
You humans think you’re so much better, with your ribs and steaks and wings!
Actually, I’m vegetarian.
That’s even worse! I can’t believe all these restaurants are bending over backwards to provide tofu turkey or black bean burgers for you herbivores, but don’t have the decency to offer a good old fashioned badger on the menu. And don’t even get me started on vegans! I don’t even know why I came to this stupid interview.
Please, don’t leave! I apologize. I was being close-minded.
That’s an understatement.
Can we get the interview back on track?
Thank you. Let’s see, next question… oh, here’s a good one. @LoverofPets asks, “Are you a cat person or a dog person?”
That’s a toughie. Even though I technically am a cat, I’m gonna have to go with dogs. They taste much better.
(Interviewer is speechless.)
This article was originally published under the title: “Clyde the Mountain Lion: Interview with a Killer.” However, following the threat of legal action by Clyde’s lawyers, the article was republished under the title “Clyde likes meat, and that’s OK.”
Photo by Savannah Waggoner and UCCS Communique.