The worst Thanksgiving dish is sweet potato casserole, but it’s still on the table every year.
Sweet potatoes have a sickening texture, and the taste makes me recoil. Such a sweet and bland pulpy mass should be banned from Thanksgiving dinner.
No matter how they are prepared, they become an inedible goo. People try to add things to it for Thanksgiving, but all they have to show for it is a still unpalatable concoction topped with marshmallows, pecans or canned peaches.
Everyone who likes sweet potato casserole rides too hard for it — there is no way they actually like it that much. These lying sweet potato-loving fools ranked sweet potato casserole as the 11th best Thanksgiving side dish.
Even on its ranking, the photo of sweet potato casserole looks grainy, dry and drab. The texture of the sweet potatoes in that picture makes my tastebuds shrivel and my stomach turn — it’s reminiscent of expired baby food.
The pecans on sweet potato casserole make it complete … that is, a complete failure of a dish with soggy nuts saturated into it.
There is no way to enjoy this dish. The pecans go soft, and, instead of becoming a delightful contrast to the potato’s gross consistency, they absorb the boring flavor and wetness of the casserole.
Picking the marshmallows off and eating them separately isn’t an option, either. They somehow soak in that wretched, nutty flavor and congeal to embody damp, earthy mush.
If you bring sweet potato casserole to Thanksgiving dinner, I will look at you differently for the rest of our lives. Blood means nothing when that appalling dish comes into play.
Photo by David Trinks on Unsplash.