That’s right: 24 hours, no phone. Why put myself through this unimaginable torture? I thought it might make for a good article. But I was not prepared for the horrors that awaited me on that fateful Monday.
I know what you’re thinking: “OK, no phone, big deal, what about your computer? Watching T.V.?” Well, I thought about that. Aside from my laptop for work and homework purposes, we are saying no electronics. That’s right — no unnecessary blue light will touch these beautiful pupils today.
1:06 a.m.: I really did mean to stay up until midnight so I could give this article a dramatic start. Instead, I passed out at 7:30 p.m. and woke up at this point. Normally when I have these middle of the night wakeups, I turn to “Reddit Stories to Fall Asleep to at 3 a.m.” videos, but instead I was forced to stare at my ceiling and attempt to conjure up some sort of barnyard animal to count.
6:00 a.m.: Flash forward past my roughly 10 (interrupted) hours of sleep, I started my day being awoken by my younger sister, who was bribed with Dutch Bros to replace the alarm I typically set on my phone. Unfortunately, this means I had to wake up an hour before I normally would, but I am coping.
7:00 a.m.: I finished an article that was due yesterday (shout out to The Scribe’s Guide for the Undecided), so now I have to get ready. Next step is breakfast, and I genuinely couldn’t tell you the last time I ate breakfast without either watching something or being in the same room as people.
7:36 a.m.: Showering in dead silence with no music was not the vibe. I’ve got 15 minutes until I have to leave for work, and I am relying completely on my laptop clock to make sure I get out the door on time, which is far from convenient. I’m certainly not doing myself any favors on time by continuing to update.
8:15 a.m.: I was at my weakest: longing for my audiobook, missing my playlists, when I walked into the Scribe office. I couldn’t wait to be greeted by all my friends, a great reprieve from the silence of my car ride and torturous time blindness. I was blessed by the presence of Lillian Davis, the Photography Editor, who went to Big Cat Coffee with me for morning treats.
8:30 a.m.: I am so excited to start the editor’s meeting on time, but only Ava, the Opinion/LotB Editor, and Lily are in the office. They are such reliable friends, accompanying me through my phoneless workday. Everyone else clearly hates me and wishes me dead because they aren’t on time.
8:33 a.m.: Everyone else is virtual for the editor’s meeting. This is because they all want me, personally, to suffer.
10:28 a.m.: I am beginning to experience symptoms of withdrawal from doom scrolling. I ache to idly scroll through soap making videos during every two-minute break in my day. Instead, I am attempting to be “extra productive” by completing a discussion board during these breaks. It isn’t even Sunday at 11 p.m., I have no business completing my homework now.
11:55 a.m.: Having meetings with people is extremely difficult when I can’t reference any of the information I have saved to my phone calendar or jotted down in my notes app.
12:18 p.m.: I miss my phone. I need social interaction. I’m getting anxious thinking about all the notifications I’m receiving and all the friendship I am missing. I’m not even posting an Instagram note about the Muppets today. People are going to think I’m deceased.
12:37 p.m.: Went insane while waiting for my lunch to heat up and started walking in circles around the office. Kaylie recorded me and laughed at me. I am nothing but a guinea pig for the amusement of others. A cruel lab experiment meant to point out the flaws in humanity that none of us care to remedy.
1:12 p.m.: I just communicated to my mom over email about an Easter egg fundraiser she’s doing. It went about as well as expected:
2:34 p.m.: I am bored out of my mind. The drive home from work was miserable and even reading has lost its charm by now. All I want is to be reunited with my one true love: the little rectangular screen in my pocket.
2:37 p.m.: My mom has answered my email, a brief respite from the monotonous existence of life without technology. Unfortunately, my services shall be useless for her egg hunts.
3:52 p.m.: I can’t do this anymore; I need to see the beautiful blue light of my phone screen again. I don’t think I can hold out any longer. No, I must remain strong. Think of the content, Zee.
4:17 p.m.: I’m starting to hallucinate my daily Duolingo assignments. The owl is haunting me. It beckons me to return to my phone and complete my lesson, but I must resist. I will practice my German by reciting it at the copy of the Constitution I put on my ceiling in middle school.
4:46 p.m.: My skin is crawling. My eyes are watering. I’m shaking with fevers and chills. I fear I may perish without an immediate injection of blue light into my eyeballs.
5:12 p.m.: I couldn’t do it … I needed my phone. My precious and I have been reunited, and I will never be away from her ever again. My phone and I are in true love, and we are going to go live happily ever after now.
It’s the next day, and I know you all want to hear some beautiful reflection on the time I spent without my phone and how healing it was. Well, guess what? I didn’t feel less anxious, I didn’t feel more productive and I didn’t have improved social experiences. You’re all wrong about cutting down on screen time. It only leads to misery and attempting to reorganize my closet out of sheer boredom. I will never make the mistake of listening to my mom when she tells me I need to get off my phone again.
Graphic by Lillian Davis.