And the Academy Award for the most unwatchable Oscars ceremony goes to … the 97th Academy Awards.
The Oscars this year wanted no one to watch them. I missed the first five minutes while
scrambling to find a way to watch the ceremony after discovering the ABC channel on Disney
Plus was only streaming the red carpet and not the ceremony. I could have overlooked this if I didn’t miss the first half of Cynthia Erivo performing “Defying Gravity.”
The ceremony froze many times throughout the night on cable and Hulu, and the stream on Hulu crashed right before best actress announced. This, coupled with a list of movies no one watched and four excruciating hours of boring speeches, made it awful.
The peak of the ceremony happened around halfway through the night. Conan O’Brien said, “It’s about time for Kendrick to come out and call Drake a pedophile.” After pausing for laughs, he added, “Don’t worry, I’m lawyered up.”
To save you all the pain of sitting down to watch the speeches and cringey commercials, I have covered the most important moments from the Oscars last night. Luckily, I even told you exactly how you would have (or, at least, should have) felt about all of them too.
Best picture, director, editor and screenplay
Indie hit “Anora” won five Oscars, including Best Picture. Sean Baker gave four speeches,
which feels unfair to everyone else. He kept hogging the stage! Give someone else a turn.
Amy Poehler presented the awards for Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay. I appreciated her introduction, mostly because her speech didn’t drag on too long like most others. I’ve never seen “Anora,” but based on the plot synopsis, I am sure Baker took inspiration from every mafia smut book ever.
Daryl Hannah presented the Achievement in Film Editing award, one of my favorites because it doesn’t start with “best.” Baker took home his second Oscar for “Anora” in this category. In his speech, Baker claimed he saved the movie in the editing room and that the “director should never work again.”
Plot twist: Baker was the director of “Anora” and also won Best Director. Quentin Tarantino presented this award, and Baker had a total fangirl moment about it. Baker urged viewers to see movies in the theaters instead of streaming services during this speech, a sentiment I agree with.
Best actor and actress
Erivo would have been the third Black woman in history to become an EGOT winner if she had won Best Actress for “Wicked,” and she deserved it. I was disappointed Mikey Madison won for “Anora” instead.
Adrien Brody won Best Actor for “The Brutalist,” then gave the most long and boring speech of the night. He had the audacity to tell them to cut off the music, promising to be brief in four separate sentences and proceeding to drag it out until he left the stage.
Best Supporting Roles
Robert Downey Jr. presented the first award and hyped up every one of the nominees for Actor in a Supporting Role. Kieran Culkin won for “A Real Pain.”
Da’Vine Joy Randolph presented Best Supporting Actress with another series of heartwarming speeches to each nominee. Zoe Saldana deserved her long overdue Oscar, though I wish she didn’t win it for the controversial “Emilia Perez.” Her speech was sweet and focused on her supporters, especially her mom. Saldana spoke about being the first Dominican American to receive an Oscar and being proud to have immigrant parents.
Best Costume and Production Design
I loved seeing Bowen Yang show up in his “Wicked” costume to present the award for Best Costume Design. A representative from each film nominated in this category gave a heartwarming speech to the costume designer(s) from their movies, acknowledging the depth of the craft. Yang carried all the jokes.
I was so glad that Paul Taswell won for “Wicked.” His design was brilliant, truly transporting the audience into the Land of Oz and reflecting character arcs through costume. Taswell is the first Black man to win this category.
Ben Stiller had a comical introduction to production design demonstrating what a film would look like if production design failed in real time, riding up to the stage on a platform that kept stopping. “Wicked” received the win for its many breathtaking sets that made it more immersive. My inner child was healed by “Wicked” finally receiving its flowers.
Best Animated Feature
“Inside Out 2” and “The Wild Robot” were both incredible movies, but “The Wild Robot” was more deserving of the award for Best Animated Feature. This movie was revolutionary and tackled subjects like family, death and isolation in a kid-friendly way. I was disappointed to see “Flow” win.
Best Documentary Feature
“No Other Land,” a documentary filmed in Gaza by Palestinians and Israelis, won Best Documentary Feature. The filmmakers gave an empowering speech about the importance of unity between their people and creating a safe place to live for everyone.
Basel Adra, a Palestinian journalist and filmmaker, said he hoped for a better future for his daughter. Yuval Abraham, an Israeli journalist and filmmaker, called out United States foreign policy for blocking the path to peace.