As of today, the Math Excel Center has been relocated to a custodial closet on the second floor of Columbine Hall. This is the second relocation they’ve undergone, having just gotten out of the corner of the library.
According to staff at the Center, the news caused an outrage. One staff member was furious enough that he vowed to log 24 hours a day. Naturally, this won’t amount to much.
The director of the Center also expressed frustration. She had been working on staging a sit-in outside Chancellor Sennifer Jobanet’s office. One staff member told her that her strategy was paradoxical.
According to Zeno, a senior staff member at the center, she is “displeased and getting pushed indefinitely closer to her limit.”
One staff member, who wished to remain anonymous, has gotten cheeky with the circumstances. They moved a table into each of the bathrooms on the floor and stationed a tutor with the respective credentials at each. Zeno was asked for comment: “These are quite strong restrictions on the domain; we really should consider expanding our operations.”
The Languages and Science Centers were relocated as well. The Languages Center was relocated to abstract space, while the Science Center — the most unfortunate of all — was moved to Dwire.
The “new and improved” Math Center. Edited graphic by Josiah Dolan.