Satire: RateMyStudents becomes hotspot for professors

     RateMyProfessors.com has been a popular website since 1999 , where students can rank their teachers on several scales, including  “level of difficulty,” “overall quality,” “percentage who would take them again” and some arbitrary tags with adjectives associated like “inspirational” or “boring.”  

     In an unforeseen twist of events, a professor at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, who has asked to remain anonymous, has engineered their own website appropriately dubbed “RateMyStudents.com.” 

     Since its debut in December of 2021, the website has become a major hotspot for professors to release their pent up feelings. In just a month, they’ve already amassed just under a million ratings from professors, which is just a fraction of how many students use RateMyProfessors. 

     Unfortunately, the website is invitation only and requires the proper educational credentials. A private source was able to submit a few screenshots of the reviews that can be found under different student’s profiles.  

     “I wouldn’t call it revenge,” the founding professor said. “But it does help us get a good idea of who these kids are and what their work ethic is.” He explained that they will rearrange the waitlist of their classes based on these reviews, meaning the best “quality” students will join their classes and the others will not. 

     When questioned about the chili peppers next to students’ names in their comments, the professor laughed. “That’s a bit of a joke. We just rate the student’s attitude on a scale of one to five chili peppers. Five being the most snarky, of course.” 

     Student government bodies around the world are questioning if such a website is morally ethical. This article will be updated as more information comes to light. 

     Inspiration credit to Professor Mike Larkin for the goofy “RateMyStudents” idea.