SATIRE | UCCS students may or may not want to look at the small print of student loan forgiveness

Last week or last month, the Biden administration announced that the federal government would cancel or forgive up to $20,000 worth of student loans for qualifying people.

So, if you owe $120,000 for a degree you might or might not use, you now might owe $100,000 for a degree that you might or might not use. Which, in my opinion, is a good and bad thing.

No matter if you qualify or if you don’t, you will need to navigate the federal loan servicing system. Keep a close eye on your application since the government may or may not be behind on processing applications.

If you don’t qualify, then you will owe the government money for the rest of your life or after you die.

If you do qualify, then you will owe up to or less than $20,000 back in your student loans.

This may or not be the lead halfway through the article:

UCCS students may or may not want to apply to see if they qualify. Students who do qualify may or may not be forced to work for the government for five years to make up for it, according to the small print from the application.

The Biden administration may or may not agree that this may or may not be indentured servitude.

“We believe or might not be believe that if we help you out, you may or may not have to work for us,” the Biden administration shared or didn’t share in a statement last week or last month.

According to a survey that may or may not have been done at UCCS, students do not care about the small print that includes working for the government for a couple of years to help with their debt.

“All I want is debt relief. I don’t care about anything else,” said a guy who may or not have been a sophomore science sandwich major at UCCS. “We are just tired of being tricked by a government who makes policy that sounds good but ends up hurting us. As long as we are not in debt, I don’t care.”

Students who do not qualify may or may not be required to serve the government for a couple of years for the heck of it, according to the small print.

The Biden Administration may or may not have told the Scribble that this might be true or not. The point the administration wants to make is that they did a nice thing by forgiving or not forgiving student loan debt.

Photo courtesy of fool.com.