Friendly faces aren’t hard to find on campus, but they may be hiding in places you wouldn’t expect. The next time you find yourself enjoying a warm spring day on the West Lawn, take a peek into the trash can, and you might just find another friend there.
UCCS’ squirrel population livens up campus, adds to the beautiful surrounding flora and provides students with an opportunity to see what it looks like when a rodent regularly ingests Red No. 40. So, it’s only appropriate that you get to know the campus squirrels.
Rocky (he/him)
My favorite campus food to eat would have to be those panini things from the cafe. They are essentially inedible to humans, so I always find a ton in the trash. I can’t go without my supply of that gummy bacon.
In my free time, I like to see how close I can get to people sitting outside before they freak out. Everyone’s an outdoorsman in Colorado until the outdoors uses your Birkenstocks as a springboard to scale your cargo pants.
Sandy (she/her)
I haven’t seen an acorn since moving to Colorado. Just Clif Bars, everywhere. I used to live in a real tree, but now I just try to find the comfiest needle cluster on whatever brownish-green bush passes for a tree here.
I would leave, but Chancellor Sennifer Jobanet said she’d pay me to clean up campus. I get seven nuts an hour, but apparently, I’ll make enough in chips to make that legal.
Sciurus (he/him)
I personally cannot believe what these other squirrels are eating. I mean seriously, some freshman’s discarded Bugles? Not me. I only prefer fallen, semi-eaten Trader Joe’s snacks. That’s why I don’t always look like I’m storing for winter, unlike some of the other squirrels…
Abert (he/him)
My favorite thing to do is to perch in trees right above the walkways and make like I’m going to fling myself at passersby. I haven’t attacked anyone yet, but that doesn’t stop people walking outside Centennial from thinking that today’s the day I really go for it.
I like the power it gives me.
The squirrels of UCCS are with you, always. Graphic by Josiah Dolan.