Welcome back, everybody! Time for another lap around the education system. This is a big one for me, because tragically, it’s my last one – at least until I realize I still don’t know anything and go to grad school in about four years.
If there’s anything I do know about a new school year, however, it’s that you gotta get stocked. You need notebooks that you can pretend to organize and pencils that will all duel each other for the coveted spot of “last one I can still find.”
I have to make space for the new goods (namely, one notebook and some pencils) and I absolutely did not clean out my backpack at the end of last semester. Let’s see what I found:
- Full notebook
This didn’t even have a subject, I just wrote whatever in here and now it’s full of information I don’t need at all. 4/10.
- Crumpled paper
Reduce, reuse, recycle; or as I like to call it, collect, compress, completelyforgetaboutit. 3/10.
- Mechanical pencils
So THAT’S where they all went. 8/10.
- Broken mechanical pencil clip thing
“Wait for me, guys!” 2/10.
- Squished protein bar
Still edible! 9/10.
- Cough drop wrapper
I can’t think of anything clever to say, it’s a cough drop wrapper. I’m going to go throw it away when I’m done with the article. 2/10.
- Throat coat tea
Singers know what’s up. Yes, I have extra. 11/10.
- Narwhal
I expected more from you. 5/10.
Graphic by Neako Hallisey.