No date night, no kisses, no confessions of love … and no pressure.
It’s always been ridiculous to me that there’s a make-or-break day for romance. Sure, it’s nice to have a holiday to celebrate your partner, but the fact that everybody raises their standards for this one day seems unreasonable.
“Are they going to text me back?” “Will they pick the right restaurant?” “Is today a good day to say, ‘I love you’ for the first time?” Why, oh why, does this day have to be a stress point for so many relationships? It’s just a day.
I hear so many stories of Valentine’s gone wrong, from a sudden or early declaration to a disappointing date. The bar has been raised ridiculously high, and the hallmark holiday causes undue amounts of stress to the point that it can break a relationship.
According to CNN, “a study of divorce filings in New York, Illinois and California by AttorneyFee.com, a legal referral site, found that February is the busiest month of the year for divorce filings, up about 18% from the average month” and that “those seeking referrals for a divorce lawyer … increase 38% following [Valentine’s Day].”
We don’t have to deal with that. Sure, it can be a little disappointing to be alone on Valentine’s Day, but how much worse would it be to pin all your hopes on a single day to fix your problems with your spouse and find it inadequate?
For me, though, I get to kick back, relax and enjoy a movie that I know I will like. I get to eat the chocolate I want to eat. I get to revel in the peace that comes with knowing I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s opinion right now.
None of this is to say that it’s unimportant to cherish your person — it is, and Valentine’s Day can be a good day to express how much they mean to you. This also isn’t to say that relationships are a waste of time. They aren’t.
It is to say, however, that singleness is ultimately a blessing in which you can focus on your own growth and interests without having someone else who needs to rely on you. Yes, sometimes it can be very lonely, but sometimes it can be very peaceful.
For this Valentine’s Day, single folks, let’s choose gratitude for some “us” time, rather than bitterness over the people in our life. Let’s be thankful for a season to celebrate learning who we are, because ultimately, if you’re not comfortable with yourself single, you won’t be comfortable with yourself in a relationship.
There will come a day when someone celebrates Valentine’s Day with you. Hopefully, the stress of preparing will not ruin the day, and if it’s the right person, it won’t. But for now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing yourself to relish self-care time.
Go put on your favorite pants (the ugly ones), buy your favorite ice cream, take a bubble bath or spend some time with your friends. A day of love means you get to love the awesome person that you are, too.
Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash.