SATIRE | 2023 Grammy’s Predictions: who will win the most coveted music awards?

As a self-proclaimed music specialist, I like to think that I can predict which artists are destined for greatness based on their albums and songs, and I feel that the Grammy’s will be no different.

So, I’m excited to finally share my 2023 Grammy Award predictions and see who cemented themselves in music history with their outstanding achievements this year!

Album of the Year – “Elevation” – Black Eyed Peas

Maybe a bit of a surprise to start us out considering that it wasn’t even nominated for the award, but the Black Eyed Peas are due to make history with their album “Elevation,” breaking studio records left and right. “Elevation” is the group’s ninth studio album, and an extremely good listen at that. If you haven’t listened to it before, I highly recommend giving it a try, as there’s a very good chance that your life changes astronomically.

Song of the Year – “Get Down” – Black Eyed Peas ft. Nicky Jam

Listen, OK? There were a lot of songs in 2022 that became popular the moment they were put online. Taylor Swift had a phenomenal run with her album “Midnights,” and Lizzo and Kendrick Lamar both made creative songs that topped the charts at some point in their releases. However, I think people are underestimating how good of a song “Get Down” really was! The Black Eyed Peas absolutely nailed the near-four minute feeling of getting down. Not up, but DOWN! How innovative! Having the Black Eyed Peas winning two of the most important awards of the night probably won’t be too popular of a pick, but I have faith in the former MTV Video Award nominees.

Record of the YearFire Starter – Black Eyed Peas

If you thought that listening to “Get Down” was a life-changing experience, I would hold your horses and put in your headphones to listen to what might be the best song ever created, not even being sarcastic. “Fire Starter” by the Black Eyed Peas beats every other song that’s ever been produced before it. Move out of the way, Beatles! Step aside, Queen! There’s a new “king” in town, and they are the brilliant minds of and company. Lyrical genius bars like “I’m a fire starter” cannot be matched. At this point, it might seem like the Black Eyed Peas are dominating the Grammy’s thus far, but it’s not their fault they are THIS TALENTED.

Best New ArtistBlack Eyed Peas

I know what a lot of you are thinking, and yes, technically the Black Eyed Peas have been artists since 1998. But, to create a counterpoint, who can really say they aren’t “new” to music? That would be denouncing the progression of the BEP (that’s what hardcore Black Eyed Peas fans call the band, we, uh, I mean, THEY abbreviate the name) and they have had unbelievable musical progression. Anyways, the Black Eyed Peas have dominated 2022 with their NEW music, and that’s all that matters for this category in all.

Best Country Solo Performance – Black Eyed Peas

Finally, the most coveted award in the Grammy Awards goes to the Black Eyed Peas. I mean, wasn’t it obvious the whole time? Their performance of their song “Dance 4 You” just embodied the country aesthetic in an absolutely perfect way. I couldn’t have performed it better myself, which doesn’t really mean anything considering I’m just one guy with no rhythm whatsoever.

So those are my 2023 Grammy Award Predictions! Hopefully you enjoyed, and please revisit this article when I’m absolutely 100% right because, who am I kidding? I nailed them!

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