SATIRE | Exploring the UCCS catacombs

If you’ve been on the UCCS campus, it’s likely you’ve heard the rumors of the UCCS catacombs. This famous set of tunnels is believed to run under University Center and Summit Village, accessible through a door by University Center.

Through extensive exploration — and digging — we at The Scribble have officially discovered the entrance to the UCCS catacombs and explored the mysterious tunnels underneath the school so you don’t have to.

When we first entered the catacombs, we stepped in a puddle of water with algae growing on it. Though the concrete walls of the tunnels were dark, we were able to light them up with the help of our flashlights to see what memories UCCS alumni had left behind.

Some of the graffiti on the walls included flowers, smiley faces and inappropriate graphics while trash such as old bottles and cans littered the tunnels for miles — until we reached a sign with the word “HELP” printed on it.

This section of graffiti had been spraypainted in red with what seemed to be a strange animal scribbled next to it. Around it on the walls were scratch marks, as if something in the catacombs had been fighting for its life. We thought these were just symbols written by alumni to scare us off, but little did we know, the warnings would continue.

Spraypainted crosses and warnings reading things like “he can hear you” and “the labyrinth goes forever” kept appearing until we saw a bit of light at the end of our tunnel. We walked toward it, discovering a strange maze of older rooms, which may have once been used as classrooms. These rooms were painted a strange shade of yellow and poorly carpeted.

We wandered the old classroom halls for what seemed like hours before we noticed something standing at the end of one of the classrooms. It was around six feet tall and stood on its hind legs. The creature seemed to resemble a giraffe — almost like UCCS’s former mascot — when it looked up and started running toward us.

Luckily, we were able to escape the wrath of the catacombs’ minotaur of sorts by throwing leftover Halloween candy at it. The creature was so distracted by the treat, we were able to escape the maze and return to the safety of main campus once more.

The UCCS catacombs are usually locked in order to prevent students going inside, possibly due to the existence of the giraffe-like minotaur within.

Campus police have also informed The Scribble that the door will remained locked in order to prevent any students from wandering down to the catacombs area again, but the truth of the UCCS catacombs is clear: They are a portal to the backrooms and its protector.

Image caption: Photo from bbc.com.