SCRIBBLE | Cat gets stuck on top of Olympic and Paralympic sculpture

At 9 a.m. this morning, a cat was discovered perched atop the green furl of the “Olympians and Paralympians Among Us” sculpture.

Witnesses reported that the cat, which appeared to be a sandy tabby from 30 feet away, seemed largely unconcerned with its situation and actively fought against all attempts to be removed.

The fire department was promptly called to remove the cat, which looked down at them with disdain as they arrived to save its life.

“How a cat managed to get to the top of a completely smooth sculpture rising over 20 feet in the air is beyond me,” firefighter Joe “Smokey” Berrington said, gazing up at the ladder stretching up to rescue the unbothered cat. “I don’t think even an actual Olympian could climb that thing.”

Berrington later ascended the ladder to try and retrieve the cat, only to be rewarded with territorial scratching. He climbed back down the ladder in relative disgrace as the cat continued to lick its paw in the same manner it had maintained until it was interrupted.

Students on the ground began to think of names for the cat, and “Buttons” was the eventual winner of a subsequent Instagram poll. One student reportedly tried to tell the firefighters that she was the rightful owner of the cat and that his name was Steve, but she was largely ignored.

After three hours of fighting with Buttons to get him down, he eventually caved for a can of tuna and permitted Berrington to pick him up and carry him down the ladder. The cheering from the crowd of students seemed to have no impact on Buttons as he ate the rest of his tuna.

According to the UCCS Communique, the sculpture itself was unveiled in May 2023 to “[celebrate] not only the UCCS students who have competed as Olympic or Paralympic athletes, but also the indomitable spirit required to achieve both educational and athletic achievement.”

While the cat’s removal was both costly and time-consuming, most of the witnesses and administrators present agreed that climbing the sculpture itself was a testament to that same “indomitable spirit” and that Buttons should deserve some of the honor of the sculpture itself.

After careful deliberation, the Chancellor’s office announced via email that the sculpture would be renamed “Olympians and Paralympians and Buttons Among Us.” The name “Buttons” was hastily spray painted on the statue’s plaque.

Most onlookers then left the scene, excepting the student from before, who reportedly scooped Buttons up and carried him away saying, “You promised you would stay inside this time, Steve!”

Buttons napping on the sculpture. Photo by Lexi Petri.