As part of a capstone by four Visual and Performing Arts (VAPA) students, the entire UCCS campus has been dyed green for St. Patrick’s Day.
Funds were allotted by the Green Action Fund, who is quoted as “really liking the color green.” VAPA seniors and administration had no idea that their project would cause the disappearance of Chancellor Sennifer Jobanet.
“The process of dyeing campus began at 3:17 a.m. on Friday. We started with the Mountain Lion Stadium, then worked our way from Alpine to Summit,” participant Connell O’Lucky said.
O’Lucky shared that the dye used is high in Green No. 3, which is unsafe for excessive consumption and stains permanently. Administration is calling the crisis “Greening Out.”
Jobanet was reported missing by administration after she did not attend their monthly search for the end of the rainbow to solve the school’s financial problems. She was last seen “splitting the G” with a group of graduate students at Clyde’s Gastropub prior to the greenification.
“She totally Irish goodbyed us. We had no idea this would happen,” graduate student Anita Stout said.
“During the 2024 graduation, Jobanet actually said that the reason UCCS’ colors are black and gold is because she can’t see green or red at all,” Criminal Justice alumni Justice Hunter said.
Leaked Wellness Center files confirmed Hunter’s story that Jobanet is fully red/green colorblind, accounting for the missing $27 million dollars that has disappeared from the budget.
“This is the first green UCCS has seen since the budget crisis began,” another student said.
It is unclear whether the chancellor will return, or if the green dye used to color the mountain lion statue will ever wash out.
The green campus. Photo by Josiah Dolan.