Top 10 steps to get safely from your car to your class

Feb. 25, 2013

Aaron Collett
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10. Prepare yourself mentally. Safety starts with your mind.
9. Open the car door and check for hidden wires or sharp edges.
8. Start toward class, stepping quickly to avoid ninjas.
7. Make a detour around the huge free speech riot, helpfully contained in the free speech zone.
6. Stop to put in earplugs to protect yourself from the tower noise blasts.
5. Work through the obstacle course of frat boys, minding the Frisbees.
4. Walk directly through the construction zones – those are completely safe.
3. Avoid or fight the pirates. (Not sure how they got here…)
2.  Open the classroom door, looking for splintery edges and more wires.
1. Sit down in your class and check for sparkles – some teachers are vampires.