UCCS is the best university on the planet, according to that tour guide who just walked by.
“Sometimes, the UC reminds me of an old Italian sub shop — everyone knows each other,” said Lars Shelling, a UCCS tour guide.
Shelling said that UCCS has “never been more in the green” as he started the tour in front of an empty and dilapidated dorm building.
Apparently every building on campus is “brand spankin’ new” and each and every student is having a “glowing experience.”
“The scenery here is pretty hard to beat,” said Shelling to a group of people from Monument.
Shelling reported saving hundreds in school materials using the TAAP program, not including the index card he was reading off of.
Shelling also made a note of the exceptional amount of scholarships that UCCS gives out to eager and bright-eyed students.
“Everything is going great.” Graphic by Josiah Dolan.