Campus Store items Fall ’24: the academic review  

A new school year means new school supplies, as I said in my last academic review. Ideally, you’ll have already bought all your school supplies by now, but I have once again applied my signature journalistic timing to miss my relevance window by about two weeks.  

The cool thing about the Campus Store is only about 35% of it is school supplies, and the other 65% is merch: UCCS merch, general merch, animals in fun little shapes merch, you name it. That means you can shop year-round, and you will be welcomed — nay, encouraged — to do so by whoever gets that money. I promise that merch will be just as educationally useful to you if you buy it now as it will be if you buy it later, or even after you graduate.  

Before you do that, though, I took the opportunity to look for you so you can decide if a trip to the campus store is worth it.  

“But Ellie, didn’t you do this last year?” Yep. I have three reasons for doing it again: one, I have no original ideas; two, if you’re obsessively reading my articles from late last year, you’re the problem not me; and three, bookstore items change.  

  1. Cactus with little feet 

One (I think) I can keep alive! 7/10. 

  1. Graduation headband 

Somewhere between three to eight months too early. 4/10.  

  1. The Council  

Approach and await your judgment. Untouchable/10.

  1. Hot pink shorts  

I might be color blind, but these seem a little out of place in the sea of beige. 5/10.  

  1. Egg pouch, I guess  

Thank goodness I have something to hold my eggs in on the way to class. They used to just break in my backpack and spill over all my textbooks, costing me hundreds of dollars. 6/10.  

  1. Selfie socks  

I think if you have to look at your feet to feel confident in your selfie, you should change the lighting and take another one. 5/10.  

  1. STAAP  

Pass. -$333.30/10.  

  1. Snack  

Not the one you were expecting, I bet. A 10 if I’ve ever seen one.  

Graphic by Neako Hallisey.