My spring break destination was better than yours

     I’ll say what most are thinking but don’t have the stomach to say: My spring break destination was better than yours. You can have Mexico in all its sunlit, booze-filled, sandy beach cesspool awfulness during spring break, because Columbine Hall room 128 was where it was at during this infamous vacation time.  

     Hawaii, California and Mexico are just some of the destinations I’ve heard people are returning to for their break, but I’ve got to say, you’ve got to be more creative. Spring break is supposed to be a time to get wild, have fun and enjoy the changing season before the spring semester comes to an end. Staying in those pretentious destinations hardly meets that requirement for a proper spring break.  

     During my spring break, I did just that and everyone missed out if they didn’t follow me to my favorite destination. Among the thick coats of asylum white paint, stained carpet and pristinely aged plastic chairs in Columbine Hall room 128, I found rejuvenation. Whether it was from the lack of sunlight hindering my ability to tell time or not, it felt like time stood still the entire week.  

     I have never felt more relaxed any other time in my life, and all I had to do was travel a measly three and a half miles to get to this enchanting destination. Columbine Hall room 128 was a little slice of heaven in my book and you couldn’t have gotten that anywhere else on the planet, unless you took a spring break course at a public university too.  

Real photo of Swift enjoying his vacation. Photo by, yet again, your mom.

     Of course, my only pet peeve about this destination was the fact that there was almost no nightlife. Unfortunately, the party in the dimly lit classroom ended at 5:30 p.m. and believe me, all I wanted to do was keep that party going.  

     However, when I arrived the next morning, it felt as if it was a completely new space. I couldn’t help but ask every time was “what did I do to deserve this?” and “is this really real?” Indeed, it was.  

     During my week in this little slice of heaven, I often detailed my experience on social media, and in all the sun filled paradises that flooded these apps, my destination stood alone. People were commenting left and right “where r u?!” and “is that Columbine Hall?!” and endless “OMG, I’m so jealous.” So, you tell me whether my trip was better than yours, as we all know social media is the epitome of honesty.  

     Indeed, you can have those extravagant vacations that are fit for kings and queens, but you’ll never get the same experience in a classroom taking diligent notes on political ideas in film, studying for an upcoming exam, and writing an essay that you “may never get the hell done.”  

     My goal was not to make you jealous in writing this, but after reading the enchanting account of my spring break I would only expect jealous feelings. So, while you recover from your weeklong drunken state, I hope you remember you had the chance to enjoy more schoolwork rather than sit on an airplane next to someone’s hairy uncle.  

P.S. help me